31 Days of Devotion, day 26

Share a time when this deity has refused to help you.

My first reaction is to say that Antinous has never refused to help me. My second reaction is that my first reaction is too simplistic.

I have never asked the god for anything and been outright refused. I have never gotten a response to prayer that felt like or could be interpreted as, “No, you may not,” or, “I won’t.” That doesn’t mean Antinous just hands me goodies, however. There are nuances.

I’m not sure that even an all-powerful, all-knowing, and all-benevolent god could or would adjust the city’s public transportation system so that the bus I take home from work is regular and reliable. (I regularly ask Hermes, Mercury, and lately also Hermanubis for help with that, however.) I have sometimes asked in prayer or through divination what was the situation with another person and been told, politely, that it was not my business, rather like Aslan in the Narnia books, “I tell no one any story but their own.” I have asked for counsel, gotten it, and then ignored it, sometimes repeatedly; I think Antinous has come to understand that sometimes I have to learn things the hard way, by beating my head against the wall of poor outcomes to poor choices for a while. I have asked for big changes in a general way, like, “I could really use a new job,” but not followed up on my request with real action, and I still have the same job.

I’ve never asked for anything from Antinous and felt that it was denied me on a whim, nor have I felt that the god just did not care, as if he were above the petty concerns of mortals. Not that gods who were born gods are not compassionate and caring, but Antinous does have the experience of being mortal; he understands our petty and our not so petty concerns. “Ask and ye shall receive,” a certain rabbi recommended; I think Antinous would mostly agree.

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